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Wednesday, November 21, 2012

SIgns You're Overdoing Thanksgiving

~ Hundreds of volunteers have started to stack sandbags around you.

~ Doctor tells you your weight would be perfect for a man 17 feet tall.

~ You are responsible for a slight but measurable shift in the earth's axis.

~ You spill more food on you than the local soup kitchen dispenses.

~ Paramedics bring in the Jaws of Life to pry you out of the EZ-Boy.

~ The "Gravy Boat" your wife set out was a real 12' boat!

~ The potatoes you used set off another famine in Ireland.

~ Your "Old Elvis Super-Belt" won't even go around your waist.

~ You receive a Sumo Wrestler application in your e-mail.

~ You set off 3 earthquake seismographs on your morning jog Friday.

~ Pricking your finger for cholesterol screening only yielded gravy.

~ You have five TV sets side-by-side to catch all the football games.

~ That rash on your stomach turns out to be steering wheel burn.

~ Your wife wears a life jacket at night in your waterbed.

~ Representatives from the Butterball Hall of Fame called twice.

~ You consider gluttony as your patriotic duty.

~ It looks like the left-overs are gonna last until Christmas.

~ Your arms are too short to reach the keyboard and delete this.

~ A guest quotes the Biblical passage from the feeding of the 5,000.

today'sTHOT============================

Asked to write a composition entitled, "What I'm thankful for on Thanksgiving," little Johnny wrote, "I'm thankful that I'm not a turkey."

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